What's New + What's Next?

Long time no talk.

I’m abundantly aware of the fact that this is going out to only a handful of folks (shoutout to my therapist, one of my most consistent readers!) but I figured I’d document the last few months for my own sake.

My memory is and has been consistently pretty spotty my whole life, so having a record of thoughts and feelings during different times in my life gives me a lot of well-needed perspective.

So!

I was introduced to a new project a few months back under the guise of helping a friend in need. The task was writing articles, which seemed like a heavenly opportunity!

Given that I have no formal training or college education for creative writing, it felt like a unique chance at getting my foot in the door of the professional writing world. I ponder going back to school just to pursue it, but have conflicting gripes with the education system in America that keep me at bay.

After a month of working steadily on these articles, I was starting to form doubts over the validity of the project. I’ll spare the gorey details, but it all ended in me never hearing from anyone involved for months, being offered threats of self harm given I didn’t complete tasks on time, and not receiving half of the payment I was originally promised.

It was, to put it gently, a giant mess.

As a result, I’ve been straying from my usual interest in writing the past two months. That and the everyday stresses of being a 23-year-old living at their parents’ house and desperately trying to escape have paralyzed me creatively.

The world outside has done its decay, and now sits in a dream-like state of icy drunkenness. As the holidays approach, we dreamers shuffle through our routines with the sweet ache of anticipation stuck in our teeth. There’s dread, of course, accompanying everything, but it’s a shared sickness. No one is alone in their joys or in their worries for a short frame of time every year, and that’s pretty comforting.

I’ve gotten a new job, which is an old job as well. I worked there as a teenager, so it was a quick onboarding and learning process. Thank goodness, as the stress of trying to get established at a new place right before the holiday rush would be a nightmare.

Despite avoiding it for years, I finally caved recently and got my damn eyes checked. Turns out, I needed glasses! Who knew? Now I have some cheap gold wire frame glasses with the smallest prescription known to man. But hey, I think it makes me look smart and sexyyy.

All of this is to say: I’ll be writing again here soon. I need to flex my muscles a bit, so I apologize for the inconsistencies as I reintegrate myself back into a solid style.

The world moves on, and I have to move on with it. Spent too long tying my shoes, facing the wrong direction.

-Andie