Counting

I count the seconds as I fill my morning coffee pot with water

Watching it rise to halfway past the ten mark

1 2 3 4 5 6 7...

Yesterday it took 31 seconds exactly

Today, our water pressure hadn't caught up

So it took 42 seconds instead

I count the steps it takes to get from my bed to the refrigerator

Comparing them to how many it takes to get back

31 steps both ways

I count the mistakes I've made

Not numerically

Yet they add up just the same

Dangling my decisions above a shame-infested pit

I count the reasons

Not to reach for it.